Nursing Home Residents Are People, Too!

By Joan Blumenfeld, MS, LPC

My client was a woman of many parts. Over the course of her lifetime, Edith had been an artist, a speech pathologist, a teacher, a counselor, a wife, a mother, a grandmother and even an astronaut! She had trained with NASA to be among the first civilians to go up in a rocket, but those hopes were dashed along with the Challenger.

Edith was an ardent American patriot, having immigrated to the United States as a young adult fleeing the spread of Nazism. She had been a beautiful, vibrant, European intellectual of the Bohemian sort.

When I met Edith, she was 85 years old and ravaged by the effects of advanced Parkinson’s. She could neither walk nor speak, but she still had a lively look in her eyes. She lived in a small house with her remarkably caring and efficient home health aide, who exquisitely managed all aspects of her care and household.

But sadly Edith outlived her money. She could no longer support her independent lifestyle. Fortunately, one of her daughters was able to step up to the plate and provide generously for her mother’s ongoing care. It was then determined that it was time for Edith to move to a nursing home and I coordinated the transition.

Her daughter wanted to bring as many of Edith’s treasured belongings to her new living situation as she could. So we hung a number of her large original paintings on the walls along with the stunning photo of Edith suited up in her NASA uniform. We covered the bed with her red, white and blue quilt. We hung an American flag and distributed other reminders of Edith’s colorful past and multiple roles around the room. The room accurately reflected who she was.

The effect on the staff was heartwarming! Word spread. They came from all parts of the nursing home to see Edith’s room and learn about who she was. They marveled at all this woman had done in her life. They began to see her as a real person, not just as a frail old woman in need of “total care.” The décor of her room focused the staff on the essence of Edith’s humanity.

PEARL OF WISDOM

Frail elderly people were once active, involved members of their families and communities. They are surely worthy of our respect and reverence.

Joan Blumenfeld is a Geriatric Care Manager based in Fairfield County, Connecticut. For more information visit her web site at www.joanblumenfeld.com. © 2010 Joan Blumenfeld.

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Sometimes It’s Funny!

By Joan Blumenfeld, MS, LPC

“Growing old ain’t for sissies!” as Bette Davis so bluntly put it. She was absolutely right. But sometimes things do happen that are downright funny!

Our father, Mark, was retired. When I arrived for a visit, he was on the phone. Someone was calling to solicit money from him for a good cause, no doubt. He listened respectfully and politely told them, “No, thank you.” The caller continued to explain why the cause was worthy of his support. Mark listened some more with a heightened sense of annoyance and repeated a still polite but firmer “No!” The caller persisted. Finally Mark reached his peak of patience, and loudly sputtered, “No! I can’t! I’m, I’m …. expired!” and slammed down the phone!

We all had a good laugh at his malapropism, which defused a tense situation.

Then there was the time we took Mother to a highly recommended geriatric psychiatrist. We went there to discuss a much touted new medication reputed to halt the progress of Alzheimer’s disease, at least for a while.

This important practitioner of geriatric psychiatry had his office in an old brownstone just off Fifth Avenue on the upper east side in New York City.

I knew we were in trouble as soon as I saw the building! There were fourteen steep brownstone steps leading to the heavy wrought iron door, which opened into a tiny, dimly lit front hall.

The waiting room was small, cluttered and messy; the walls were painted dull mustard yellow. The furniture was circa 1950s Goodwill. The wastebasket was full to overflowing. It was a joke, except it wasn’t!

As we settled down to await our geriatric consult, my father looked around. With a twinkle in his eye, in a loud and bemused voice he commented, “If I wasn’t depressed before, I certainly would be now!” He got no argument from me!

And that probably saved the day. It discouraged him from walking out then and there. After a perfunctory discussion, the doctor prescribed the new medication. Ultimately it had no effect on Mother, either good or bad. But the irony of sitting with my frail elderly parents in a geriatric specialist’s office that was so remarkably unwelcoming stays with me to this day. The incongruity makes me laugh!

PEARL OF WISDOM

Find the humor in situations when you can. These moments will become treasured memories.

Joan Blumenfeld is a Geriatric Care Manager based in Fairfield County, Connecticut. For information visit her web site www.joanblumenfeld.com. © 2010 Joan Blumenfeld.

Do you have your own Pearl of Wisdom? Please share by commenting below.